Now We Are Six...

When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five, I was just alive.
But now I am Six, I'm as clever as clever,So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever.

My strapping 10 lb. baby boy is now a whopping 40 lb. handsome young man! I must confess that I felt a bit guilty over the years at the lack-luster way we had celebrated his birthday. You see, his first birthday Eric wasn't home so when Eric came through town we shoved a candle in a piece of store bought cake and took a picture. I mean, every child HAS to have a first birthday picture.

The years are kinda muddy between 2-4...but I'm pretty sure it was basically a repeat. So age 5 I decided the child MUST have a party and a party he had - at the bowling ally. But of course, our little purse cannot afford parties every year so no party was planned for turning 6. In fact, I secretly hoped it would be like years past that he wouldn't even know it was his birthday so we could just celebrate it on whichever day Eric landed in town. Um, let me just say, once a child enters Kindergarten, those days are OVER! He has talked of nothing but his birthday for weeks now. I finally realized Eric had to be here so we arranged the schedule to make it so. I didn't need to worry about planning anything, Jack had it all planned for me. His birthday song must be sung with the "cha, cha, cha's" included. I must bring cupcakes to his school and eat lunch with him. And so it went. I got such a kick out of him enjoying being Prince for the day. He jumped on our bed the morning of his special day and said "Here I am, the birthday boy!" (if only he had entered the world so easily and cheerfully!).

At some point in the day he came up to me and told me he was in love with me

and that I was the most beautiful mommy! There are lovers and fighters -

Jack is a little lover ...and for the time being...he's mine~

People Say....

"I just don't know how you do it with your husband gone all the time...". I usually just laugh and try to point out that I don't have to cook every night, do his laundry, pick up his junk etc. But sometimes I just want to scream - "I don't want to do it alone - why don't you help inestead of just patting me on the back verbally!" Today for instance: A normal day but for some reason (perhaps because my 1 year old has been sick for a week and is a total whine-bag!)I about came un-glued when my cupboard was squeeking horribly and the thought crossed my mind "I need a man!". It sounds very trite when I write it - but it was just one more thing for me to do. I don't have time in my day to find the WD40 and fix a cupboard. Oh yes, and then there is the lawn that looks like the amazon. Not to mention the truck that needs thoroughly clean.

You know, that person I would look down my nose at and wonder why in the world they dont get their crap together? That's ME.

If I could get my work done with my face on the floor I would try today because my heart needs a humility make-over.

And I wonder, no, I know...how many times I say the same types of things to others instead of sticking out my hand to help because I'm far too busy with my own little life.

Happy New Year!

Make a Smilebox greeting

What the heck?

Have you ever had a year that spins you so hard your neck hurts? Actually, my whole body hurts after this year. I don't like to go in-depth on my blog but it's after 4 a.m. - I've been up for a long while and I realized I've been so lax on this blog. It's one of the many things that has gone by the wayside this year. I laid for a long time thinking about this year and wondering just WHAT I had wanted me to learn. I know that I learned a lot about myself. A lot that wasn't pretty.

It all started with the realization that our *surprise* child was going to change not just the number in our family. It meant that financially private school was out the window. No big deal, we can home-school for one year! HA! I learned that I have limitations that are real - not just in my head. 

• I learned to eat humble pie - that some children really do throw fits, scream, will not schedule, eat all the time and never stop moving - and it's not because the parents don't discipline.
• I learned that if you build the barn before planting and harvesting the field you will fail.
• I learned that legalism is truly toxic and poisons not just yourself, but those around you.
• I learned from good friends how to be a better friend.
• I learned that if you aren't gifted in an area - don't take on that responsibility.
• I've learned that God is Great, beer is good...and people are crazy!!!!! LOL. Sorry, just had to add that one. :)

I'm still learning. I'm learning that relationships are messy, hard and a big pain! 

I've also learned that my sisters will love me on my most un-loveable days:


My friends will overlook my "Northern-ness":



My children are priceless:


I'm learning to be grateful too. Something that is a huge need in my life.

Matt-matt is One!

My baby is one.

As those who know me well will understand - I greet each new birthday with joy!!! A year older, a year of memories, a new year to make more, a year closer to independence!

Wow though, what a year. There is truly never a dull moment with Matthew! He is hot or cold. Laughing or screaming. Active or sleeping. No in between. This is exhausting and yet so simple.

Laila gets him up each morning because she wants him to like her the most and she reasons that if she is getting him up out of bed he will love her for it! Jack gets a kick out making Matt-matt laugh and they have fun wrestling together...though he longs for the day when he doesn't have to share his room. :)

Matthew still has no teeth....has decided he doesn't need to walk 'cause that's what parent's arms are for and can say several words (peek-a-boo, hi, bye, thank you, laila, jack, daddy, nana). 

I love you Matt-Matt.

Happy Mothers Day and all that jazz...

I have to honestly say this was the absolute worst Mothers Day ever. This had nothing to do with the children directly. It all started out so very well. The kids were sleeping in so I got a shower and started getting ready...with every desire to be at Sunday School on time. Then it happened - Matthew woke up. Crabby. Well in actuality it started before Matt woke up but I didn't realize this yet. You see, the night before Mother's Day I noticed Laila had gotten into my make-up while a friend was over. Okay, no biggie - just don't do it again!

Well, let's just say I didn't realize that she had used all my make-up brushes in my purple eyeshadow. So when I was applying it (I use all mineral make-up which you must apply with brushes) I was adding a hue of purple all over my face. It didn't help that my bathroom was in the midst of repair so my mirror was on the floor and the lighting wasn't good. I walked into the kids bathroom and realized that I looked like a clown!!!! Okay, I'm not going to let this stop me from getting to SS on time. I take it off, re-apply with the one brush that isn't purple tainted and start on my hair (with a screaming, whiny 12 mos. old in the background). It began to get worse. For some reason the back of my hair would not lay down and the more "mud" applied the worse it got. I ended up looking like a grease ball. I grabbed a mirror from Lai's room and accidentally dropped it on the floor shattering it. It was at this point that I'm sad to say I lost it! I had already put the kids in the truck so they were spared the less than lovely tirade that came from *someones* mouth. At this point I stormed into the truck, sped off and ended us up in the parking lot of IHOP. The kids were totally confused. I was already too late to go to SS, my hair was a grease pit and my heart was far from spiritual.

Of course, it was packed! A very dear woman (I dare say she must have been an angel) stopped me and told me how nice my children and I looked. She said "I know how hard it is to get three little ones ready and you all look very nice!" I stumbled through a sincere thank you!

So now we are at a table. Laila and Jack were on their best behaviour realizing that psycho mom was on the verge of breaking out...Matthew however thought that it was a perfect opportunity to exhibit his talent of wiggling out of his seat, eating off everyones plate and his specialty, letting a fork hang out of his mouth while bouncing his head around and laughing. I could see a couple across from us laughing. I was hoping he wasn't making them loose their appetites. As we were on our way out of the door they stopped me and told me that I had such well-behaved children. Were they watching MY KIDS? I stumbled through a sincere "I needed to hear that today!"

I got home exhausted and treated myself to a nap!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Tea Time in Texas

Eric was home so we decided to take the kids to downtown Nacogdoches for what I'm sure will prove to be a historic day - Tea Party Day - April 15, 2009.

I tried my best to explain to them what the purpose was of this day. It makes me wonder what parents told their little ones during the time of the Boston tea party? I'm not sure they really understood - but I'm sure they will recall it when they are older and their little skulls full of mush will fall on their knees thanking their parents for raising them to love their country and say "no" to tyranny. Ugh, well, a mom can hope anyway! I can always just blame it on Rush, right?!

http://www.ketknbc.com/news/tea-time-in-nacogdocheslufkin

Determined Children

For any and all parents that I once said the following to:
"Dr. Dobson says that all children will rebel at some point in their lives whether they are 3-or 30. So even though it's harder on parents, it's much better to have a strong-willed child because you can mold and shape them." Well, you can just go ahead and slap me now!!!!!!!! That was said by a mom who had two pretty compliant - albeit eccentric and slightly OCD - children.

Enter Bob (I call him that due to his tomato top hair). He came into the world letting us know that he had arrived. Wait, let me back-up....if you ever, EVER feel your baby around 10 weeks gestation (which people will tell you is impossible)...know you are in for a ride!!!!!!!

Speaking of hair. Monday we went to the eye doctor and they had a huge mirror on the wall. Upon seeing how crazy his hair was I did what every good mother does, I wet my hand and smoothed it down. My little determined urchin proceeded to grab his hair and pull it straight out again. I never thought I'd pick my battles with a 10 mos. old.

To Read Again...

You know what I miss most about being a child - reading at all times of the day whenever the fancy hit me.

Reading well into the night without a thought of how it would affect the coming day.

You know what I regret? Not reading more. Not reading a variety.

And somewhere along the way - between diapers and spelling lists, giving up that part of me for the false allusion that one day I’d have more time.

If I’m learning anything in my 33rd year it is this - if you want it you’re gonna have to take it. The time to read is not going to just appear. The clock is not going to stop. The kids are not going to quietly care for themselves at precisly 2:00 p.m. so that I can sit down to a clean, quiet house and emerse myself into a good book. No, I’m going to have to carve out time, to prop my bleary eyes open and force my brain to soak it in.

I think that’s one reason I’m becoming such a dull person.

Mentally, verbally, etc.

I MUST read.

So any suggestions

?

My Daughter

You always hear “mature” people talk say things like, “Enjoy this stage because it goes so fast”. Frankly most times I just want to puke when I hear things like that. A strong urger to say something like “So do you want to come help me enjoy this stage?” almost overwhelmes me. But I bite my tongue because...

But you know what? It’s true.

Our oldest turned eight on the 1st and I can hardly believe that I’m the mother of an eight year old. The real thing that drops my jaw is when I hear her talking. She is in a Laura Ingalls stage so she says things like “Momma, can I pay a visit to Ms.Gladys?”. And then there is the “When I grow up I’m going to be a rock star because I’m very confident in myself”. We’ve had to discuss REAL issues over the past year - politics and race being among the top!

She is most unusual Laila fair. She has her nose in a book at any given moment. Her favorite tv show is Jon and Kate plus 8. She loves Tacos. She wants to own her own “beadery (a jewelry shop). She and her good friend Brek have decided to enter the restaurant business and own a Pancake Factory. She already wants to know what is hers when I die. She loves AWANA and the Old Testament. She loves facts - about anything but particularly history. She just learned that our “Motherland” was England. This intrigued her greatly! She loves her brothers - but Matt-matt is her favorite (shh- don’t tell Jack she’d say!). She will drop whatever is in hand to whisk him away from a tired Mom.
Happy Birthday Lai. Enjoy because time really does fly!

She spins and she sways

To whatever song plays

Without a care in the world

And I’m sitting here wearing

The weight of the world on my shoulders
It’s been a long day

And there’s still work to do

She’s pulling at me

Saying “Dad, I need you
There’s a ball at the castle

And I’ve been invited

And I need to practice my dancing

Oh, please, Daddy, please?”
So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms

‘Cause I know something the prince never knew

Oh, I will dance with Cinderella

I don’t want to miss even one song

‘Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight And she’ll be gone…